It is a little Sad, trying to be something that you patently are not. I am concerned about that day, which always arrives, exposing the realisation that your outer self and inner self have collided; invariably with unbelievably harsh results. You are quite right Medici, said Accountant Terrier Alistair affirmingly as he looked up from his daily pursuit of shuffling Columns of numbers. (Ed: for the benefit of the wealthy and detriment of the state). Ja, sure indeed, said Mike Tiresome, just look at that Boston Terrier chap Albert DeSalvo: when they got him to Realise his true identity he went into shock and Triggered permanent catatonia. Thats partly true, affirmed Josephus who had written up the case for the Canine Journal of Antisocial Behaviour, jointly with Dr Dov. Oh balls Mike, go back to being a Pug; he wasn’t the Boston Terrier just the Boston Strangler and that was yonks ago. Well that my Be, I continued, but it validates my thesis and apprehension for Bogdonovitch AKA Ivan’s future. They all turned to Face me as I unfurled a crumpled pic, unmistakably a Borzoi which everyone had thought was a left over from last week’s Halloween. That horror fest Which the bipedals observe with the same childlike reverence as they do the Abrahamic Fairy Stories. But it isn’t frightening, just sad, said Jean unfurling the Crumpled portrait of a recognisable Bog/Ivan in tatters of military costume. It actually reminds me of you Medici, he said, in your Deimatic Displays, Only he as a warrior and you a scary lion.The sadness is compounded when you realise that both of you want to be something you are not. The difference, however is That you do it under the umbrella of Halloween festivities as a Joke-foil for your unattainable Aspirations, while he has lived a life under the heroic mantle of Bogdonovitch the Soviet Spy. You remain Medici for the rest of the Year and he tries to Avoid being Ivan, forever. And look at him now, I replied, intentionally ignoring the Personalised remark about my good (Ed: very) Self; he lurks around shy and wild and Pitiable. I wonder if he is related to Irrelevance the darkly black silent but ever present Labrador, over there at the mulberry bush appearing to be fascinated with silkworms, but actually Focussed on us.
I don’t think anything untoward awaits Ivan said Dr Dov putting on his Psychological hat, glasses and other misleading appurtenances, like an air of Intelligence. I don’t think he will, or has crashed as Dramatically as Albert the misguided Plumber. The strangler was truly psychotic and his leaking mind confusingly conflated pipe-fixing with head and neck Adjustments; of mainly nubile, female lady Bipedals. A sort of synesthesia, not of his senses Directly but of his chosen trade and ultimately reprehensible activities. The park population is good with the elderly Bogdonovitch, Continued Dr Dov, so let’s leave it that way, for he is old, benign and harmless and in my analysis (Ed: free of charges?) showing very real signs of dementia. And that is a different kettle of fish from the male child of Mr and Mrs DeSalvo. (Ed: if only they had had a fish rather)
Enthusiasm, the not so bright but eternally happy Staffi was listening to all of this and frighteningly, as the not so bright, periodically do: came up with an exquisite observation having synthesised all he heard. You know fellas, he said (Ed: clearly refusing to politely recognise the intellectual distance between he and the others) There is this strangely haired, oddly coloured, totally demented elderly fat biped in what used to be America waltzing around the place talking into loudspeakers to lots of his species saying things like I am chosen by the Lawd, cleverest genius in the world, master of the weave and clearly born to lead all of you and the world. And, he said, turning to Me, he says he will become the most powerful man in the world. And we thought last week that that was just Halloween.
The Deimatic Trump is unmistakably farouche
Unconscionably revealing the popular touche
Disgracefully cheating
Shamelessly bleating
Yet he will soon be sealed on the Whitehouse cartouche.