I am not too sure what it was all about . From nowhere there was a Buzz about the place. Is it a Spring thing, I asked Red Deb? A whole slew of our fellow parkarians were sitting around chatting Amicably and doing things together. What things? There seemed to be a lot of very strange singing and dancing going on, displays of natural talent, Exotic food consumption and of course the Resultant exotic bum sniffing. Its international day said Red Deb. It’s a time of Fellowship announced the very reverend archbishops canine helper Ecclisiasticles. Such a Born-again term that, fellowship, remarked Jean philosophically. Actually its erev Roshhashanna said Yarmelke Moishe looking respectfully to the East. But that seems totally Nonsensical remarked Hesus the Mexican chihuahua from somewhere inside his Hat*. As did the day. What do they expect to find in a north park amongst the highly pedigreed? Our internationalism is not what binds us, it’s actually that which gives us a reason to Exist; especially here. There is a south park for the more mixed homegrown varietals; why do we need to Celebrate? And as for this rampant display of nationalism what good can we expect therefrom? Oh come on Medici stop being so writerly and critical, cant you just let it all hangout and be one of us. You so damned jolly hokey sticks I said to Red Deb in reply. Dont you see the contradiction under which we all live. We demand and expect special treatment up here in the north precisely because of our Refined origins as enshrined in our pedigrees. And Poof, all of a sudden we are confronted 1/365th of a year with a day to celebrate something we and our Owners strenuously protect for the other 364ths of the year. And a quarter said Enthusiasm by way of gilding the lily. Look here Red Deb, I continued while trying to reverse into Enthusiasm by way of Symbolically excluding him from our lofty dialogue. Extraordinary, I clucked noticing quite a lot of sympathetic, nay agreeable Nodding going on. Ah well, I exhaled come let us go Forward and celebrate our togetherness for a brief period of Respite remembering that bloody football game the Germans and the brits played in 1914 before continuing to kill each other the Next day. Really, said Kurt. Ja you won the game and but lost the war added Drooler, the lugubrious Boxer not often seen in this here Literature for quite some time
Just then, Irrelevant the mysterious Black Lab was spotted leering over the hedge. Dont look now, I heard Lionel the cosmetologist, say to Dirk but we are being Observed. Silly Lionel, you cant tell a Belgian anything without expecting him to do precisely the opposite. (Ed: thats according to every Nederlander). The huge Furry mass of Bouvier bounded up to the hedge, flew over it, shouting Flemish ruderies at Irrelevant. (Ed: i.a Klootsak: your fav hey Medici) There was a cloud of dust and soon the triumphant return of Dirk. Look what he dropped as he skedaddled in fright displayed the mighty Bear. A stack of pics. We examined them and sure enough Irrelevant proved himself to be a snoop of the highest order. A picture of all the Goldens and Labs outside a well known comfort house and worse still one of my relatives in Japan, at Hiroshima no less. Wtf is Irrelevant up to? Is he celebrating International day too. And who sent him these pictures?
Look here buggers yelled Dirk. Evidence of some of ours queuing up outside a whorehouse in Hampstead according to the accompanying document. (Ed: Thought you made it a point not to read any of our the readership’s messages Medici?) Never, exclaimed Red Deb, aghast at the thought: there must be an explanation, she said. Sure Sure Sports injuries all of them intoned Schnufter laconically having just had a drop of St Bernards finest celebratory brandy. (Ed: beneath the chin no doubt). Oh we have many clinics here for pampering and healing said Thingaloobepopalulah the Thai Terrier, my sister works at one, two or three. Amazing stories she has too about all those males, with identical problems in identical places. Oh glory bee I yelled Internationalism really works for us dunnit?
I just don’t know anymore
we all come from different shores
unity is a conundrum
diversity so humdrum
that our basic differentiation needs to be explored?
*Sombrero