I don’t know whether it’s the time of year or The state of the world which is doing it. Doing what I asked of Mak Soy the cantonese SharPei? He was staring downward into the pond looking at his reflection and Muttering to himself. I was passing a good few Meters away not being that much of a hydrophile but nonetheless I moved up, Fascinated by what he must have seen of himself. All those rumples which actually make up his face were now gravitated into a convoluted clump of Folded facial tissue pouring over his eyes, nose and mouth. His miniscule piggy ears (Ed. no doubt you will be sending an apology to BuongBeo*, Medici) were nowhere Near his crown but now doing a fair impression of despondent Lucifer’s horns, lying flaccidly where his eyes should have Been. And Lionel is on my case, he bemoaned to our reflected images looking back at him from the water’s surface. For why, I Butted in? He startled seeing me appear in the reflection. Now virtually alongside him and stared in Disbelief. Medici, he blurted, what in big D-g’s Name are you doing here at the very interface of land and pond. I was Drawn by your downcast demeanour and being so dangerously close to this blasted damned pond, I retorted: for once, quite Honestly. My demeanour, he repeated?. What you talking Greything, he enquired prepositionallyless, like all the Asians do. Quite honestly some Dark thoughts crossed my mind and I couldn’t help noticing a certain downwardness in your entire being: frankly I interpreted your body Language as being depressed. Not depressed atall atall, he retorted I am just Amazed that that bloody Lionel the cosmetic surgeon should be on at me about my Looks, dammit. If I think about a lot of your writing this year, it seems to dwell disproportionately on Body dysmorphia one way or another. Yes? he enquired of me. Oh, I hadn’t really thought about it that much but I suppose here in the Northpark where breed is so important it would be a concern and , come to think of it, grist for both Lionel and Dr Dov’s mills, Jointly and severally. Remember Lionel wouldn’t do the final tidy-up of Irwin’s transing until he was presented a full, and expensive Psychological report, from Dr Dov. They are indeed a consortium of Mutually beneficial interests. Mak Soy nodded with every rumple resonating sympathetically in total Agreement. But whats his case with you? I asked. Cant possibly be body Dysmorphia. You are a sharPei in anybody’s book. Even Spark, the Dalmatian fire house puppy identified you just Moments out the womb. Oh look daddy, a SharPei, was one of the first things he said to his Pa, Ignition the firehouse boss
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It’s, my, face, responded MakSoy with lugubrious Ponderosity. Huh I retorted, cant be? If ever anyones face and body Harmonised it just has to be yours, I Blurted. After all it’s one continuous ocean of tissue and fur luxuriating over every Available surface of your very self. What could Lionel possibly be thinking? I mean it couldn’t just be a face-lift? the result would be a bear, and not even a Cantonese one. Look at all the effort Lionel had to put into Irwin’s underside with that huge Octoboobimplant. And now, no matter how Daintily Irwin desports him, her ,it-self he still periodically stumbles over one or Four of them when doing tight corner turns. And as for Harlow, remember Lionel’s ear job on her. I mean those pert little Upstanding unsupported ears on a granny some several years Old. And what does she do now? Only goes out into the Park in her matriarchal turban embarrassed by her Fulsome artificially reinforced perky upright unsupported ears. Forget it Mak Soy
And Syria fell , making the time of the year even better than Christmas in what used to be Jerusalem. I think that might have prompted Lionel to think of meddling with face lifts. All those pictures of that disgusting biped Bahar with a head smaller and longer than his neck Obviously a new trend soon to be fashionably beckoning Alawites everywhere.
To think of MakSoy thin of neck like those alawites
inspiring the cosmetologist to new creative heights
but indomitable Lionel
wants a sharpei to sell
his new skillset to potential canine acolytes
* Sham Pee Yong, translated: Pot Bellied Pig (vietnamese)